Why Do We Fear Traveling to Megacities — and What Does It Say About Us?
Travelling to new places, not to mention searching for hidden gems, brings a lot of stress. What makes us more stressed out is visiting big cities. We have to be alert all the time — dealing with many strangers, experiencing commercial pressure from advertising everywhere, getting lost among skyscrapers and giant architectural structures. All of that may well be overwhelming, making us feel small, invisible, and insignificant, which actually drains us rather than fulfills.
Two days ago, I watched a vlog of a blogger travelling to Paris. She was visiting the city with the purpose of adopting the Parisian lifestyle: wander the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, have a glimpse of Montmartre, climb the Eiffel Tower, etc. Putting myself in her shoes, I caught myself feeling anxiety because I didn’t belong there, being isolated from the society. My trip felt like an act of despair — I wanted to be heard and seen, but, of course, didn’t succeed in doing it. Watching that video, I was mentally shaking my head in a strong decision, “No, I would never go there”! And those feelings raised a big question: where do those daunting feelings come from, and how to deal with them and travel without fear?
In 2015 Francesca Perry did a survey on what makes a city stressful? There were a lot of responses from Guardian readers complaining about air pollution, constant jostling, and long commuting. One might speculate that there is nothing new here, and I will absolutely agree, but what gave me a lot of food for thought was that all of those comments illustrated a fight. The fight is for our own place, space, and time in this world. In other words, we, adults, are constantly searching for our place out there, believing that there is nothing for us, and we need to compete for it. This might be the reason for travelling, too, — as the saying goes, fish seek deeper waters, and man seeks a better life.
Now that the crux of the daunting feelings about travelling has been identified, let’s examine them. What is daunting about the fact that you don’t belong to a certain group of people? Yes, you may feel like an alien for them, but isn’t it exciting to tell them about yourself more and find out something about them? This situation is not about being similar to others but being different, which is worth celebrating rather than hiding it. And here, I would like to fly in the face of the trite phrases that people usually travel to expand their horizons and immerse themselves in different cultures. I’m afraid I beg to differ; my view is while travelling, we learn more not about another country and its traditions, but learn more about traditions and mindset we possess and bring to others. Travelling is like a litmus paper that reflects the level of embracing yourself, who you are, and diversity of the world in general.
And here all cringeworthy things of small towns step in — dilapidated buildings, locals in a dirty plaid button up and muddy boots, terrifying street dogs, run-of-the-mill cafés, and mediocre theater performances. There is definitely nothing you should be proud of, huh?
I remember once talking with a very snooty taxi driver being frustrated about picking me up from the dense hinterland. I don’t know why, but I retorted: “You are so judgmental as if you are not from the hinterland yourself!” He smiled.
I understand all of you who live in dull towns and struggle to find their own path living there. It is too hard, sometimes even unbearable. But these are the places we belong to. And I believe that our mission is not to escape from these lands but solve this mystery: What do we gain from being born and living in such places? After all, we have the DNA of that very place we were born in.
“Listen, if the stars are lit, it means there is someone who needs it.” wrote Vladimir Mayakovsky. Life needs such places, and life needs us who live there, otherwise we would live another life, somewhere in Paris. Having pondered this recently, it dawned on me that dull towns have been created not to feel frustrated about, but to celebrate the chance to look inward and explore your own inner world. I am one hundred percent sure that we wouldn’t do it, if we had been born in a megalopolis where everything and everyone wants to grab our attention. And I find it truly remarkable!
In his book, Eckhart Tolle suggests a solution of dealing with racing thoughts. You need to become an active observer of them, like a cat lying in wait for a prey. If you slow down and deliberately focus on waiting for a thought, you will see that nothing dares to bother you. The same can be done with our ego while travelling or living our daily life. You can say: OK, I am here in a dull (or marvelous) town, looking at a pile of street litter (or a highbrow museum), for instance. What are my emotions? What are my thoughts? (Remember, you are a cat lying in wait for a prey?) No fiercer frustration or extreme thrill will show off. You will experience so-called Zen — nothing but the present moment, now and here.
Acting on Eckhart Tolle’s method, my focus on where I am has been shifted to my inner-self. I have become that center around which everything revolves. From this perspective, my town is not so much a heavy burden anymore as a gift because living here gives a chance to contemplate life rather than neglect it. When you respect life, it respects you in return, showering you with its greatest gifts. And here is where your real, fascinating life journey begins.